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Even as I write this, I’m still giggling at the brain and eyeballs in the mason jar. I can’t entirely explain why I find it so oddly cute, but whatever the reason, such a prop wins me over in digesting this purely mesmerizing absurdity. I’m sure Jackie Kong, read the script and said, “let’s see how far we can stretch this” and turn BLOOD DINER into a true cult-classic, horror that generations will cherish and remember for decades to come. I think it worked.

The plot is simple: two brothers, own and operate a vegetarian diner are collecting body parts all from immoral women to assemble the Lumerian goddess “Sheetar” in an all you can eat blood buffet, while also sacrificing a virgin. This of course is all under the influence of uncle Anwar Namtut (Drew Godderis) who’s brain has been resurrected and placed in a mason jar. He guides Michael (Rick Burks) and George (Carl Crew) Tutman in their mission where so much carnage is accumulated and assembled at great charming lengths.

It’s a trashy film at best which probably divides audiences, but what amazes me is how Jackie Kong combines gratuitous violence with a humorous undertone of highly stylized seduction. For instance, the lathering a woman in batter so she’s prepped for the deep fryer was a gas. The aftermath made me cringe but also made me exhale with blatant laughter. I loved how you can’t really predict what’s going to happen within each scene. Its so deviously goofy, I almost feel guilty for enjoying it. But you can tell Jackie Kong had just as much fun exploiting the idiocy, and with a limited budget its actually a clever move. Bringing outrageous elements such as the nude aerobics class which ends in a bloody massacre, but seeing how the body parts are just casually tossed here and there definitely highlights the comedy and theatrics. This film is so much like a bouncy ball house, because on one end of the spectrum there's the wrestle mania with an Adolph Hitler impersonator to a bunch of dancing zombies eating limbs, while the Sheetar goddess throws lightning bolts from her fingers while her toothy stomach chows down, and this is all nicely sandwiched between classical and punk rock music. My brain is on fire!

Going into this, I was totally expecting a creepy slasher film, but got extreme amusement instead, which is gratifying. All this work to make Sheeter come to fruition, I expect there should be a second film seeing how it was left open ended. There’s so many avenues to go down being this creature is now resurrected and probably out there thriving on killing to survive. Someone pretty please make another film about SHEETAR. I need to know what happens next.


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